Your superficial love no longer entices my senses.
Your mystery was so overwhelming,
that its charming qualities
became inexistent to me.
Everything I did to you
came from genuine feelings,
something you’re unable to familiarize with
because the skin you wear is patchwork from strangers.
I’d rather wear my heart on my sleeve,
than to make someone else’s identity my own.
Even if I get exposed to your rejection
and look for comfort in denial.
The security of solitude
is a connection inherited by the sensitive.
The oblivious are forever fated
to the secrecy of ignorance.
You know my weaknesses,
I know your strengths.
It’s not fair until I tear you down
and get to where I really want.
The cuts will heal one by one.
Even if I need to patch myself with fragments of you.
I always get what I want,
so why are intangible feelings an exception?
This poem is heavily inspired on my random quotes from Twitter, pretty much like Bipolar Electric Discharge, but I have quite a collection of random quotes now, so I decided to put some of them together. I hope it’s not too distasteful that my feelings are so out of reach that sometimes I can sound happy but then tweet about something really upsetting. I hope none of my followers have too much concern for that and always know I’ll be alright. If I’m capable of feeling strong emotions, I’m capable of handling them.
I’m absolutely in love with Shiina Ringo’s latest album, Sanmon Gossip so I wanted her to grace this poem with her beautiful new photo shoot. That’s where I got the name for the poem and it fit it really well. I feel like I’m back to a more intellectual level of poetry, unlike the lastest poem, where I went a bit berserk with ideas. I hope you enjoyed reading Skin even though it’s not as crazy as Bipolar Electric Discharge!
B.I.O.Polar,
drawing you in
and pushing you away.
Magnetism at its best, my love.
12:00 a.m. and I can’t feel you.
Even though the bed is still warm
with the throbbing
of two dead hearts.
The sound of thunder from my head
Pulsate you away with dangerous radioactivity.
My psyche is exhausted from useless attempts
to stop being toxic to myself.
Jealous, obsessive, thunderstorms.
Don’t dance under the rain now.
It’ll only get you electrocuted.
Bipolar danger zone.
Burning vibrato consumed with rage,
letting go of your senses among so much energy.
Smoothly tearing me apart,
like a tool of your desires.
Your vitality isn’t worth my time.
Pairs of ions.
Ready for an electric discharge?
ϟ
This is probably the craziest poem I’ve ever written. The words “Bipolar electric discharge ϟ Magnetism at its best, my loves” came to my head by the time I wrote it on twitter and it was basically my base and inspiration for this poem.
Me And Electric Discharge is also the title to Shiina Ringo’s compilation album, and I started to love this title, and I took this nuclear, electric vibe and tried adding it to my own poetry, so it became more of a You And My Electric Discharge in this case. This poem is certainly very much like me due to its randomness and just the mixture of words. I’m really satisfied with it because it’s so crazy and random. It was very fun to write because of its play in themes and my inspiration was easy to work with.
Using a symbol as a verse is also a first for me. I really loved how this poem turned out! Nothing like my past published works. That’s exactly what I like about it!
Cycling through fake hopes,
one after the other they disappear in a distance,
and the joy of another temporarily appears
before it’s wilted by reality.
Flirting with my melancholy,
the smell of tears and alcohol lingers in the air.
Tell me where we stand,
so I can move over and you can walk away.
Flashbacks frame memories of you.
That’s what I get for living the yesterday.
Feel me, my point of view,
did it ever cross your mind that I’m in pain?
I just want to hear you say okay.
But what I need is to run away,
from your embrace,
and comfort myself with the death of my love.
Finding myself is hard
when you have so many pieces of me.
But I like it that way,
and I’m complete as long as they’re yours.
The barrier between us shares your name.
I wanted to bring it down with my defenses,
to kiss you goodbye.
Signed, Alvy.
This poem is almost old school me. I used to write pretty disturbing poetry a few years back, only none of my past poems were published and now I don’t have them anymore. But this one has more romantic touches than my previous attempt at poetry, Mute. I really don’t know which is better!
I tried giving Flashes a more personal touch at the end because it took me a while to get this poem right and I was figuring out the words for two days. I hope it was worth it, though! It took me a long time to feel inspired, lots of listening to music and resting, coming back to routine and experiencing many different feelings since I came back to Brazil. I was impressed by the number of musical references for this poem, I really didn’t intend it to have so many quotes by various different songs, I wanted it to be more personal to me, but I couldn’t help it. Despite that, I think that if you know me personally this poem would be very characteristic of who I am, actually, so I feel better about this one than Mute. As a matter of fact, (I think only one person knows this about me, though) whenever I say or think about the word “melancholy”, I feel the scent of tears and alcohol, so that’s how that part got into the poem.
I hope you enjoy it! I’m quite satisfied with it, and please tell me if I’m going down the right path or if I should have sticked to a more Mute-like style!
I had removed my poem, Mute, from HEART STATION some time ago because, as I posted, I personally didn’t feel like it was a poem that I was happy with, I don’t feel like it portrayed exactly what I wanted it to, but one of my friends told me that I should keep it up because he liked it! It made me really happy that he liked it, so I decided to put it back up for everyone. I’ll try to work on a new poem as well, but I can’t seem to fit the pieces correctly, but when I do, I hope it’s kick-ass!
Mute
Violent violins of my jealousy.
Rich piano of my heart.
Inconsistent saxophone of my love.
How come you can’t feel the orchestra?
I beg you to stay longer.
The show won’t begin until you open your curtains
to let me in,
I’m yours until my strings break with fatigue.
I’m lost without your company
now that you spoiled me with your spirit,
inspiration doesn’t escape me
even with the straining of my feelings.
No matter how loud my feelings are,
you’ll never codify the frequencies they radiate.
The pop tunes of my mind
are too sweet for your ears.
Compositions we make together go their own way.
One meaning to me, another to you.
Only I can play what’s within my heart,
and only you can’t hear the subtle notes.
I’ll stand here, until I turn deaf.
I’ll wait for you to know.
Know what I feel for you.
Know that it’s too late.
My first non-rhyming poem in 2 years! I tried to express yet another feeling… I’m not sure I did a good job of it, though! I tried my best, I guess that counts a bit! I guess I have the problem of focusing on one point for my poems, and that makes my words less impacting, but I always try my best!
When I wrote Joker and Urban I was under this creative surge of feelings, words and they turned out to be quite impressive! But lately, I’ve been trying to create a few more poems (Maybe 5 attempts), but none of them showcased what I wanted them to, but it’s time for another poem around here, so I decided that this one’s good to go!
I feel the same way as Utada when I’m writing, here’s a quote by her that expresses exactly how I feel as well:
When I start making a song, for one second I see an amazing view–and in that instant, it cracks and falls to pieces. Then the rest of the process is trying to put the pieces back together. So when it feels familiar, when I see what I saw in that moment the song was conceived, then I know it’s done
-Utada
it’s too bad how I fail consistently in putting the pieces back together.
Update: Urban and Joker got removed from HEART STATION so I can start off clean! I felt like I was comparing them way too much, and I want to start fresh with brand new ideas to share.
