HEART STATION

The Tanabata Matsuri is a festival that celebrates the love between a princess and a peasant of her kingdom. The father of the princess did not respect the relationship, for it was all about love and they forgot to work. He got really mad and separated both of them, he put each of them in each side of the sky, separated by the milky way, and in Japanese beliefs, they encounter once a year, and that’s on the 7th day of the 7th month.

I got really excited last year when I saw one of my favorite television program hosts (Daniele Suzuki) go to the festival and show us a little about it. She went around looking at the various presentations, we saw what kinds of food they had there and a lot of the beauty in the traditional decorations set around the area of Liberdade.

This year I really wanted to go there, for it’s the neighborhood with the most concentration of Japanese citizens in Brazil, and that’s what Liberdade is known the most for. My mother and I really planned this trip, it’s too bad that I wasn’t able to contact a few of my friends and that the rest of them were traveling, since it would have been fantastic to share this experience with them. At first, it was planned that way, we were bringing some friends, but then we decided to go by ourselves, just as a family.

I woke up at 6:00 a.m. to get there in time (10:00 a.m.), since São Paulo is 1-2 hours away from Campinas

The exotic, yet urban view of Liberdade

(Where I live). Everyone was very cooperative, and the first thing we saw that indicated we were getting close to our destination was the exotic, and yet urban style of the area. It was really cute to look at the contrast between Liberdade and the surrounding areas.

We knew we were getting somewhere, then we saw the beautiful fair, with colorful

Entrance of the festival

traditional decorations, flags, tents everything all set up and waiting for the noisy crowd to arrive. We were lucky we got there just when it began, since later on, it’d be impossible to move around with so many people in one place.

We got there and we looked at all the scented foods and feasted on the beautiful decorations, for we knew people worked hard to create all these colorful hand-made balloons that so beautifully completed the Japanese atmosphere of the fair,

Beautiful hand-crafted balloons

A bamboo with a few wishes hanging from it

and even though we were really busy eating delicious foods, we all knew that my mother was looking for the tent where we purchase little strips of paper to write a wish on and then hang on a bamboo tree. This happens because each piece of paper has a color representing a theme (Yellow: money, Blue: holy protection, Pink: love, and so on), and you write your wish on the appropriate piece of paper and hang on a bamboo tree so later it’ll be burned and brought to the princess and the peasant to make it come true. They will only be able to meet again next year if they make every wish come true. My mom decided to pick the red (Passion) and blue (Holy protection) wish-paper and I picked the yellow one (money), my sister picked up a green one for peace. very happily, we wrote what we wanted on the little scrolls

Our wishes and a few others

and hung them on a bamboo tree next to a tent.

We went on, looking at the fair and my mom was having a blast. She bought lots of things for her and she loved the friendly Japanese ladies at the tents (Brazil is the second most Japanese-populated area other than Japan [Which is number 1]) and she was having a really good time. I was too, of course. The stores all had really adorable things, and I bought myself a pair of wood sandals to walk around at home. They’re really comfy. We passed by a manga shop and later on, met up with my dad that was at a meeting. We had lunch in a Chinese restaurant and we left.

It’s too bad I didn’t get to see the wonderful Japanese presentations of fan-dancing or popular culture presentations. We got to see a Cosplayer, though, and it was an amazing trip. My mom can’t stop telling me how much she loved it! I’m so happy everyone loved it so much! We’re surely returning next year!

I also found out where to order an original Portuguese Cardcaptor Sakura manga. Even though it’s from somebody else, it’s in excellent conditions and I hope I win the auction since it’s really rare.

Time. Life. Death. These are things I cannot understand at all. Religion doesn’t help, science is incomplete everything else is useless… I don’t have a philosophy of how death is, be it if we’re going to live in never-ending darkness, feel our decomposing bodies be eaten by vermin, go to heaven or re-incarnated, I don’t know, and it freaks me out, since I don’t know if I should live my life like I want to, or if I should worry about my sins, since I don’t want to go to the bad side of the other side (If there is one, of course).

It’s really odd how time can be so slow and yet so quick… I feel like it was yesterday that I was being dragged out of the 1st grade A class because I was actually from 1st grade B and my teacher seem like she was mad, and here I am today, moving on to high school. I miss the days that I so eagerly wanted to pass and the days that I wished that I’d graduate and just move on, out of school turned into days I wish I would never leave, since I don’t know what awaits me.

This summer vacation, I spent a lot of time in the past. I took out old video games and downloaded old television series from when I was younger and I’m having a blast watching playing the games that I loved so much through elementary. I’m watching Cardcaptor Sakura all over again in Portuguese to better captivate the essence of time (Since I used to watch it in Portuguese before), and I forgot how much I loved it! I had some of the manga, even though I never read it, and it’s so good to return to the time when I was in elementary through the series.

I also have a list of songs that marked a part of my life that whenever I listen to that song, I remember how sad or how happy I was at the moment. I wish this will never go away. Some of these songs are:

As Horas (Marjorie Estiano) : Happy times when my sister bought Marjorie’s album and we’d listen to this song in recommendation of the lady that worked at our house and we’d bring the radio to the kitchen to listen to the song with her and she’d talk about the soap opera that the song was from.

BLUE (Utada Hikaru) : Last summer vacation, When my family and I were returning to Miami, I was roaming through a few song of Hikki’s and getting to become more familiarized with her music, and I came across BLUE. The whole trip was by car, and I fell asleep listening to it. When we got to Miami, I woke up and loved the song. It became kind of an anthem of Miami for me!

RAINBOW (Ayumi Hamasaki) : I was sleeping in the car listening to this song when my neighbor came crying to my sister and I and she told us about our dead cat. This song still has the depressing essence of death to me.

Nichiyou No Asa (Utada Hikaru) : This song reminds me of the beginning of my friendship with Cary and Sofy together and I used to listen to this song all the time with Sofy while we shared my iPod’s earphone. It was during the beginning of 7th grade and I remember that time with so much joy!

These are only 4 of the infinite songs that I have in my head reminding of moments that I was so emotional about. I love it when this happens, for I can keep the memory alive whenever I listen to the songs. This may not always be so positive, but through a certain moments, I can remember more moments. That’s why time is so strange to me. I don’t understand it, and yet, sometimes I do.

I’d like to add a video to this post that reminds me of the beginning of this year, back in August, when I wasn’t expecting so many changes in only one year. I love the song, and I love the moments it reminds me of. The name of the song is Sangurasu and it’s by Utada Hikaru. Enjoy!

When I was growing up (Before I was around 6) I was exposed to a lot of Brazilian culture, and I believe that if I wasn’t placed in an American school here in Brazil, I would grow to become one of the most Brazilian people in the world. Now, unlike everyone else, I don’t listen much to Brazilian music because I dislike it. Although, there are some exceptions.

In the ’90s, I was a great fan of a singer/actress named Angélica Ksyvickis (Or just Angélica, as she mostly known) and she was really famous at the time. I followed all her movies and as a matter of fact, 

the first album I ever bought in my whole album was hers! The name of the album is Angélica - 1997. It’s a really good album and I love listening to it and reminiscing on my childhood and the good times I had in the ’90s! (Even though I was too young to notice, it was the best decade!) Angélica - 1997 has a really strong ’90s vibe and that’s what I love the most about it. Too bad it’s hard to find it now, since my copy got lost, I really miss it!

Her latest album was released in 2002 because she left her singing career aside to take care of her family (She has two boys now!) and of her career as a television host. I sure miss her singing and she’s really beautiful as well. She’s definitely my favorite Brazilian singer even though some songs of hers can be just a little childish, (She used to host a children’s show) I’m always going to love her!

Another singer that I’m really beginning to like after some time is Marjorie Estiano. She started to get some success in 2004 when she became part of a really famous soap opera here in Brazil called Malhação, but since the soap opera was more teen-oriented, she recorded a more pop/rock style of music to add to the soundtrack, and it didn’t fit her. Now that she left that part of her career behind, she chose a more fun and light style that really pleased me when I heard it for the first time! Her sophomore album is really good. There are a few really good ones in her first album, but others that aren’t that much.

She’s winning a lot of popularity with soap operas now because of her cuteness and flexibility in roles and this only contributes for her record sales! For help with her sophomore album, she used Rita Lee’s (Legendary Brazilian singer) help with the lyrics and melody! It turned out really good!

Thursday and Friday were two great days, but they only reminded me of how near the end of the school year actually is and how sad this week will be because so many people are leaving and because of so many things that we’ll never have and that were so great from 7th through 8th grade.

Thursday was a great day because the awards ceremony at school prized the best students in your class and these were Cary, Sofy, Laura, Pam and Silvia! Congratulations to them for winning so many valuable awards! They work hard and they deserve it very much! Shakespeare Club’s last day was also Thursday and we’re never going to be able to have any other Shakespeare Club because Baby C will be leaving for New York and that’ll cause such an awful impact in my life. Even if we were to have Shakespeare, Sofy wouldn’t be there either and that’ll break my heart because Cary, Sofy and I are soulmates and breaking us three up will take a really miserably and depressing long time to adjust, but I’ll never accept it and whenever I have some free time, I’m surely going to schedule a get-together!

The party thrown for Shakespeare Club was really neat, it was like a banquet and most of the people decided to join some money to get a gift for Baby C and I was the one who bought the gifts, I felt like crying when I gave it to her, it was a pretty painful moment, our last Shakespeare Club… The last time we’ll be giving her anything and the last time we’ll have to hang out at Thursdays afternoon with such a special teacher! Great music, great food and great friends! Perfect party.

Other than all these wonderful things, I also discovered (Luckily, since there were no commercials about it) that America’s Next Top Model is back in Brazil and not the completely fake Brazilian version of it! It’s really behind (8th season) but at least we have it again! I really missed because Tyra is so much better and more original than Fernanda Motta (Prettier and more funny as well!). I’m never missing an episode (Even though I know who will win)

Friday was a really positive day and we were happy the whole time, it was really contagious and it was a great day to hang around with the people I love! It was also our last friday as an official school day, I sure hope this firday comes fast because I want to get the final exams over with!

These two days were a great ending of a week so full of ‘lasts.’

May and June… the months where every student dreams about the upcoming vacations. Until you get to 8th grade. To 8th graders, May and June mean incessant studying for your first final exams and you don’t know what to expect, so it only gets worse. There are only 2 more weeks until we have our final exams and only this week and the next to study. I’m only concerned about Portuguese and Mathematics material because they’re the kind of subjects that you go “what?! when did we learn this?!” when we review… Besides, I used to be good in both, but now I don’t know what happened this year that I just can’t pick up on things. This is pretty bad because of the fact that it’s the base for the beginning of high school, and if you have no base, you can’t build anything knowledge through the coming years, and that’ll lead to lots of humiliation in the classroom if they ask random questions to me that I won’t know how to answer.

From now on, I am to get really stressed and I think I’ll have to put piano to the side now because I’ll need all the time I can get to study. This weekend I plan to have no entertainment at all, only studying my English and Portuguese material. I hope I do just fine and that my hard work is worth it!

Every year in the month of May our school prepares a food festival at school called ‘International Day.’ The festival consists of food everywhere, game booths brought by a certain grade of students and lots of hanging out with your classmates and your family. I just came back from this year’s ‘International Day’ and it was a very pleasent festival! Better than any other that I attended so far.

You see, the main purpose of the party is to get money for your class and advertise your booth to get lots of hits. It was so much fun working with the kids that I actually took 2 shifts (Of one hour each) at the booth, helping my classmates out when others weren’t helping.

Other than all the friendship and helping out, I couldn’t seem to stop visiting the marvelous and wonderful Korean booth. It seemed to be the booth with the most food being sold because the food was running out 1 hour before the party ended and it was DELICIOUS. For every plate you ordered, you could have either some meat to follow or a pair of rice cakes and you also got free korean tea. All this with chop sticks! The noodles were incredible and so were the Korean rolls. The rice cakes I got were the best food I have ever eaten. The dough was made out of rice (Of course) and they were circular. They were also pink. Inside you could taste a very sweet and delicious essence. With noodles they rocked! The tea created the feeling that we were actually in Korea, having a meal with friends. The friendly Korean women (Mothers of students at EAC [My school]) who were serving us all had on traditional Korean dresses and so did the men. The booth was the beautifullest one and the one that was the most delicious. Too bad the rice cakes ended so fast.

There were many funny moments throughout the afternoon and Pamela returned from the United States today from the Intel Isef fair and came to the festival to check out how everything was going. It was a very deliciously fun day.

Like I’ve mentioned before, I decided to take piano lessons and today was my very first lesson in 8 years! I have a great teacher who’s very sweet and gentle with everything. The only thing I’m concerned with is the fact that she likes setting up meetings between her students and when skill and ability is in question, I wouldn’t like to be the newbie and get everything wrong while everyone else is going super well and looking at me like I’m some intruder wannabe in their territory. But I’m a fast learner, like my teacher said and my previous years playing favored me and I’m really passionate about the piano! I can’t wait for the weekend to come so I can wake up in the morning, go down to the piano area and practice to perfection! For the first time I’m playing the right instrument. I didn’t have enough maturity before, but now I know how much I want to play the piano, the sound is really music, unlike my past attempt with the guitar (Which I quit because I felt it was a burden and I wasn’t feeling connected with what I did).

It’s like a school lesson when I’m learning with her, she likes giving tests, according to her, and she likes to gather my friends and family around when I’m taking them so everyone can be a part of my learning and that’s great because not only is it including them, but it also breaks me from my shell and allows my shyness to not get in the way of my duties. But this class was very positive and I’m going to study a lot and maybe look for some other music to play in the piano. I’m so eager for that!

Today was the day that Xuxa was burried, 2 days after her death. It was far more difficult seeing all that dirt being thrown over her coffin than actually seeing her lying dead on my nieghbor’s garden. We got to the cemetery and asked the lady there where Xuxa was. She pointed out the way and we got to a room where a white dog was enveloped with a red blanket on top of a table, but Xuxa isn’t white, so it couldn’t have been her. My mother looked at the wooden box beside the dog and when she peeked into it, all of us began to sob and cry. There she was, with lots of flowers lying on top of her. We looked at her, my mother pet her head for the last time and with that last image of her, we sealed the coffin. We went outside to look where she’d be burried. Following the indications of the lady, we awaited, looking at the deep whole where our beloved cat would remain from now on.

We talked for a while, crying and sobbing, until the man came out with her coffin. I looked at it and squeaked, then the tears wouldn’t stop coming, I think I was never that sad in my whole life, I have never cried that much ever. The man placed her inside the whole and began bringing the dirt to fill the whole. It was a painful process for me. So painful that I wouldn’t stop crying loudly all the time. Just the thought of only having that depressing grave to look at whenever I thought about her was a nightmare. No more of her sexyness when she was laying down on the floor all elegant. No more listening to her nails scratching the carboard beds we put out for her to sleep in, no more of her entering the house quickly after we open the door so she can go down to the room where her last litter of kittens was born. No more unity between she and her daughter, Pakita. No more dressing her up in adorable outfits. No more Xuxa, the wonderful cat that won’t ever be replaced.

I took notice of all of that during the whole burrying. It was only then that it actually striked me that she’s really dead and that this is it. When I found her for the first time, it took me about 2 minutes to start crying because I was in shock, it was so sudden, and to think that if she wasn’t at the wrong place at the wrong time, she would still be here, wonderful and fantastic as she had always been. I’ll never forget her adorable habits and how special she is. She shouldn’t have gone away this way, I’ll miss her forever.

When I was turning 8, I really wanted to have a cat, since I have always loved how they are. My sister decided it’d be a good gift, and my father is a real animal lover, so he was really into it. It was a weekend and we went to a pet store that now is not there anymore, called “Animal.” When the lady escorted us to the display of persian kittens, she took out a tiny, grey one called “Thundercat,” and happily went on and on about how cute he was, but I looked at this tiny furry, champagne-toned cat at the corner of the display, she was also looking at me, all relaxed and elegant (She’s the sophisticated kind), and I was sold, she was the cat I wanted, no matter how excellent all the others were. I loved that one. We brought her home, and even though my mother freaked out, she ended up loving her anyway. We went to a Japanese restaurant in the neighborhood with her, and my mother kept saying how she didn’t want her to go to the bathroom there at the restaurant. I don’t know how she recieved the message, but when we got home, we saw that actually she had, only she did it on her tail… It does sound gross, but it didn’t even look like it, it took a while to notice, but we washed her up.

Then came the joy of birth, four times. The first time she had kittens was in 2004, when I was coming back from a birthday party and entered the kitchen. Her serene expression and her tiny little paws slowly carressing the floor with her nail. But then again, not all kittens survive and this was pretty much a bomb, whenever one of them died. The other three times were also blessings, but they didn’t catch us by surprise like the first birth. We followed every step of her kitten’s lives, we fed them when they didn’t find where to find food and took care of them all the time. It was the first thing we did when got home from school.

After we got Prince, our male cat, we decided to marry both of them, and her fourth and last litter of kittens were the outcome of this “marriage.” This was around 2005 and we still have the certificate. Then we spayed her and she got a lot more caring and docile, if that was possible. Everytime the window was opened, she’d jump and stay with us or walk around the house. Everybody loved her and out of the 3 cats, everyone’s favorite for being so cute and the most social.

Today, after my sister and I came out of the car, we heard cries from our neighbor, Emellyn, telling us not to get in the house. She was crying and told us to follow her. When we got where she wanted us to be, we saw Xuxa lying on the floor, dead. Her tiny mouth was opened and some blood was inside, her eyes were wide open and her position was still sophisticated, just like how she always had been. My sister and I broke into tears and so did our neighbors. My mother was crying from the phone and Xuxa was sent to the vet to analyze her death. Because of her red mouth, the veterinary believes she suffered of some impact on her nose because it’s a very sensitive area, and it killed her. I can’t even think straight, she meant so much to me, any thought of her makes me cry and writing this post was one of the hardest experiences because of so many tears and memories of our past together. I never thought she’d die so young (4 years old) and so suddenly. I’ll never forget her, my little baby.

When everything is coming to an end, I always take time to reflect on it even if it’s painful. In this case, spring brake wasn’t that bad, I feel like I wasted some of it, but it was nice wasting part of it in the comfort of my couch while I watch television and go on the internet at the same time. This went on in the beginning of spring break, until I focused on Baby C’s birthday present for this tuesday. It’s a fantastic present (At least for me), and its the first time I make an absolutely complete birthday pack for anyone! I’m so proud of myself, but she said she wanted something that reminded her of us, and the present I’m giving her reminds her of the class in a whole, not me, only, and being egocentric as I am, I have to give her a present reminding her of me! So I went to the website of a store close to my house, Japan Society [Website in Portuguese] and buy her something from there. I have an idea of what I want to buy and it’s going to be awsome! (By the way, did anyone else notice how excellently perfect Ayumi Hamasaki’s “alterna” song is? The one that plays when you enter Japan Society’s website?)

But enough of that, I’m very upset that school begins on tuesday already, but I have everything ready for tuesday and I can spend tomorrow doing whatever I want! And that’s always great. I’m buying Baby C’s gift tomorrow and I’m very eager to do that. It’s weird how I don’t want school to begin and still want to go to school and give her the gifts for the wonderful day that tuesday will be for being her birthday date!